Step right up! Step right up ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight, here at Staples Center in the best city in the world, Los Angeles, for your own viewing pleasure and wonderment, we bring before you a spectacle of all spectacles. Two giants, two young warriors, one a man-child beast the other a beast-child man, both ready to step up and claim the mantle of bigman of the next decade.
In the right corner, standing 7 feet 1 inches tall, weighing in at a lean, yet finally maturing and toned 285…playing center for the Los Angeles Lakers, #21…Andrew Bynum!
Recently recovered from knee surgery, the 21-year-old with the baby face uses his soft touch around the basket, and his Mr. Fantastic-like abilities to reach up into the sky and seemingly grab and flush down every single pass, no matter how wild or how off target, while also using a limited, but effective array of hooks, bank shots and dunks to completely dominate the middle on offense. With his 7-3 wingspan, he is able to alter plenty of shots and send many of them back like letters with wrong addresses.
His opponent, in the left corner, standing at 7 feet, weighing in at a healthy, and robust, muscle-popping 285…playing center and wearing #52 for the Portland Trail Blazers…Greg Oden!
Also recently recovered from knee surgery, this 20-year-old, 2nd year rook who looks like Lebron’s grandpa with his grizzly beard, uses his size and excellent timing to reject shots harder and more embarrassingly than getting dumped on prom night while wetting your pants for all your peers to see. He uses his big frame and girth to position himself for rebounds as well as intimidate in the middle to completely dominate the floor on defense. With his 7-5 wingspan, he is able to effectively flush down missed shots and posterize lesser humans as well.
Who will rise victorious? Who will dominate? Who will be dominated?
Tonight we will see.
Let’s get ready to RUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBLE!!!!!!!
Keywords: Andrew Bynum, Greg Oden, Los Angeles Lakers, Portland Trail Blazers
