Heart attacks were felt across the nation on Sunday (especially by me), leading to plenty of hospitalizations. While you’re incapacitated, why not get the full scoop on week 14’s heart-stopping action?
(10-3) Houston Texans 20
(7-6) Cincinnati Bengals 19
So maybe the Texans aren’t absolutely screwed with T.J. Yates at quarterback. Who knew? They probably won’t make a lot of noise in the playoffs depending on the seeding, but they should stay competitive. Unfortunately for Cincy, there may be too many “respectable losses” on their record.
(10-3) New Orleans Saints 22(7-6) Tennessee Titans 17
If the Titans weren’t in the middle of a playoff chase, I’d say it was time to start Jake Locker. Though with Hasselbeck’s injury, it might happen anyway. Kudos to the Saints for not falling into the “Trap of the Week.”
(5-8) Philadelphia Eagles 26(4-9) Miami Dolphins 10
Oh Tony Sparano, we hardly knew ye. Wait, I did. You were a mediocre coach. Its obvious management was waiting for him to lose just ONE more game after that streak of wins they went on. Dropping one to the Eagles wasn’t going to cut it.
(8-5) New York Jets 37(5-8) Kansas City Chiefs 10
Sparano wasn’t the only coach let go today, as Todd Haley was relieved of his duties in Arizona following this shellacking. When you make Mark Sanchez look good… nothing good can follow. The Jets inch closer to the playoffs with a surprisingly lop-sided win.
(10-3) New England Patriots 34
(4-9) Washington Redskins 27
Here’s how I imagine that exchange between Tom Brady and his offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien went after Brady’s first endzone interception in a millennia:
Brady (to his receiver): “Go up and get it!”
O’Brien: “Hey asshole, it wasn’t his fault.”
Brady: “He got fucking undercut!”
O’Brien: “Maybe you should have thrown a better ball!”
Brady: “No SHIT!”
At this point the rest of the team/coaches/staff/waterboys come over and tell O’Brien to shut his hole. Including Bill Belichick, who CLEARLY tells him to “shut up.” Golden. I actually liked Brady’s attitude. I think he’s earned the right to get angry every now and again.
(6-7) Arizona Cardinals 21
(10-3) San Francisco 49ers 19
So… the Cardinals won again. That’s cool. You guys don’t really expect me to talk about John Skelton, right? I will talk about the Arizona defense though, since they put Alex Smith into the ground for five sacks. San Fran’s road to the two seed just got more interesting.
(7-6) New York Giants 37
(7-6) Dallas Cowboys 34
How much did you want to see this game continue? After Eli came through with another clutch performance in a touchdown drive, Tony Romo came right back to get the ‘Boys in field goal range… which was promptly blocked by Jason Pierre Paul after Tom Coughlin iced kicker Dan Bailey. For Dallas, the loss of Demarco Murray to a fractured leg might be a bigger loss than the game itself. In Giant land, they hold off a last-second loss and are squarely in command of the NFC East.
The playoff picture is becoming ever so clear… Be back next weekend for The Opening Drive!
