Can't bet against the point spread? Feel too much pressure when deciding between your heart and your head? Vegas has you covered with these completely ridiculous prop bets, covered by Esquire. Here's a few choice selections and my useless advice.
How many times will The Who's Pete Townshend do his windmill move?
Line: 5.5
My take: The over! During these Super Bowl halftime medleys, every frontman pulls off his signature move at least once, like Springsteen's guitar catch or power slide, Mick Jagger's being creepy or Janet Jackson's being naked. (Snap.) Once you start the windmill, it's hard to stop.
How many times will CBS cut to Archie Manning?
Line: 4
My take: Archie's obviously the father pf Peyton, but he's a New Orleans sports legend, as he's the most famous Saints QB ever. The line started at 2.5, making the over the safest bet in the history of gambling. At 4, it's still too low. Over and over again.
How many times will CBS cut to Kim Kardashian?
Line: 2.5
My take: Not quite the slam dunk of Archie, Kim's still pretty enough to make it on-screen at least three times. If boyfriend Reggie Bush has a great day or gets injured (either one is likely), the curvaceous Kim could garner enough screen time to be the MVP. (Her looks don't hurt either.)
How many times will announcers mention Hurricane Katrina?
Line: 2.5
My take: The fine print on this bet says commentators must completely say "Hurricane Katrina" not half-ass it. That's an easy over as well. You can barely mention New Orleans without bringing up the tragedy.
Whom will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?
Line: God 20/21, family 13/2, teammates 23/20, coach 10/1, no one 9/2.
My take: I guess it depends on who you think will end up as MVP. My money's on Manning, who will thank the team first, no question.
Okay, that's my last Super Bowl article! (Until it ends, then expect another, natch.) Enjoy the game!
Keywords: Hurricane Katrina, Janet Jackson, Joe Anello, Kim Kardashian, NFL, Pete Townshend, Peyton Manning, Reggie Bush, Super Bowl 44
