How the Detroit Lions almost had Bill Parcells

So, there's this Oakland County, Michigan law enforcement officer who's a professional acquaintance of mine. Nice guy, former Marine. Definitely not a guy you'd want to mess with. "James" has a friend who works in the Detroit Lions front office. Here's what the friend told James: a few years ago, the Lions contacted Bill Parcells about coaching the Detroit Lions. After all, who better to resurrect the toothless Lions than the Big Tuna? After all, Parcells has won two Super Bowls as a coach, went to a third and very nearly took the New York Jets there.

Then came the problem, and it stemmed from Parcells' famous complaint coaching the New England Patriots: he didn't like being expected to cook the meals but not allowed to buy the groceries. So, according to this front-office person for the Lions, Parcells told Old Man Ford that he wanted total control over football operations.

No go, said Ford, not wanting to do that.

So Parcells left.

Parcells has gone on to help the Dallas Cowboys get back on track (although with Wade Phillips and Terrell Owens they seem to be going backward) and is doing a remarkable job with the Miami Dolphins. Last year, the Dolphins were 1-15 and narrowly missed going undefeated. This season, they are an astonishing 10-5 and, at the moment, are tied atop the AFC East with the New England Patriots and are in excellent position to get into the playoffs. And they've done it with Chad Pennington as quarterback. Pennington is the New York Jets castoff who's roundlly criticized because he doesn't have a rocket arm. But he does have a knack for keeping mistakes at minumum and getting the ball moved down the field.

And, meanwhile, the Lions are 0-15 and are in excellent position to go 0-16 as they head to Green Bay this weekend. They haven't won at Green Bay since 1991. The high in Green Bay on Sunday is supposed to be 22 degrees.